The Support-raising Blitz of Summer '06

Yesterday I cleaned the kitchen for about three hours straight. It was actually relaxing...nice not to have to think about stuff. But today begins the Support-raising Blitz of Summer '06: tons of strategizing and writing and preparing for my trip home. Here is my schedule so far (please note that, unless you are a family member [hi Mom!], you will not be interested in this next bit):

Friday June 30:
• Set up support-raising database (this is a pretty sweet piece of shareware -- it's exactly what I need)
• Get contacts’ addresses from the Web or from Mom and Dad
• Work on budget

Saturday, July 1:
• Compose two different fund-raising letters (one for MN people and one for out-of-town relatives)
• Print, address, and stamp letters
• Drop off at post office
• Prayer room at 2:00 (hopefully)
• Help out adopted family at home (i.e., clean bathroom, help with Wombat1's room project, etc.)

Sunday, July 2:
• Work on pledge cards
- First-time pledge cards
- Regular pledge cards
- Print out a bunch of each and use Other Mother's paper cutter
• Go through fundraising notes completely
• Look through job ads
• Go to 6:00 service

Monday, July 3:
• Merchant Band set (at least the last hour)
• Talk to Sacred Trust office about taxes, raising support before I’m on staff (tax-deduction issues), PayPal, using Fearless Leader and Withit for my personal recommendations
• Finish sample budget for staff app/flipbook
• Write personal statement of why I want to serve as an intercessory missionary
- Short version for staff app
- Long version for personal clarity and for material for flipbook/packet
• Call MN clinic for consultation

Tuesday, July 4:
• Day off
• Pick up Hotness from airport
• Ooh and aah at fireworks

Wednesday, July 5:
• All day: write presentation book (include info sheet, a mini-version of the book, for people to take home or for me to send to out-of-town folks).

Thursday, July 6:
• Finish presentation book and print
• Organize materials for going home

Friday, July 7
• Pack

I still have to shoehorn job-hunting in there, because I don't think I can raise $700 in support (which is the minimum monthly income required for PT staff); I need a part-time job. I don't know...maybe G-d will surprise me and provide all $700. But I still want a job so I have extra coming in. I don't just like having a savings account -- it's a necessity. I am going to need a new(ish) car in a few years; I might decide to buy a townhome; I definitely want to get contacts...and I would love to be able to bless other people financially.

I still can't believe I am actually doing this (or trying, anyway). Before my internship, I knew I wanted to stay in KC. I always figured I'd find a full-time job right after I graduated from OTI. I never thought I'd want to be on staff. I still don't think that this is a lifestyle choice; I don't see myself as a long-term or lifetime vocational intercessor. Living the fasted lifestyle, yes, but that's different than being an intercessory missionary. I am still seeking G-d's will about what I'm supposed to do. However, I'm proceeding on the assumption that He wouldn't mind me being on staff at IHOP for a while.

So that's what I'm up to these days...that and obsessing about the cat and dog hair (it's EVERYWHERE! They're invading!!!) I'm both excited and scared about the next 6-12 months. I wonder what I will remember about this new season in a decade or two.

Webcasts

I keep forgetting to post this, but IHOP provides free webcasts of their weekend services -- worship and sermons. Worship is led by Justin Rizzo on Friday nights, by Murray Hiebert on Saturday nights, and by Merchant Band (10:00 a.m. service) and Misty Edwards (6:00 service) on Sundays. Mike usually preaches all three days. Friday nights focus on intimacy with G-d, Saturday nights are about the End Times, and Sundays he usually preaches on the beauty of G-d. The notes are also available online. With the webstream and notes, it'll be just like you're at the service, except without having to sit in those uncomfortable orange chairs.

The prayer room webcast is free during the Global Bridegroom Fast, but I think that's only for the 10:00 and 4:00 intercession sets (which are the most emphasized sets during GBF). The PR webcast is actually pretty cheap and is well worth it if you have a high-speed Net connection. The PR schedule posted on the website is outdated, unfortunately, but the basic structure remains the same (e.g., 10:00 a.m. is intercession, 12:00 p.m. is a devo, and 2:00 p.m. is Worship with the Word).

Go here for the links. The page is divided into two sections (PR schedule is in the right sidebar -- "24-7 IHOP Worship Leader Sched"). If you just want the free webcasts, scroll down a bit. I would encourage you to buy the full webcast, though...who knows, you might see me praying on the mic. :-)

Fasting

So I was checking some blogs today and found out (via Michelle Malkin) that some liberals fast. That's...bizarre.

Speaking of fasting, I need serious grace for doing it. Fasting was easier in the internship, especially with the schedule. This is not to say I was perfect when I was an intern; I didn't always fast two days a week, like Mike suggests, and I didn't always fast on Tuesdays, either. Still, I did find it easier to keep fasting during the internship. Now it's just me, and it's difficult.

It's hard enough sometimes to stay in the prayer room when no one but me is making me stay there. Throw in fasting without grace, and I become distracted very easily. I had trouble this week...just couldn't do it. I want to love Jesus more than food, and I want to invite my flesh into my spirit's mourning for the bridegroom. Yeshua said that we would fast when He (the Bridegroom) was gone; it's not an option if you love Him. I do love Him. I miss Him a lot some days. That's what the Global Bridegroom Fast is about: missing Jesus and crying out for Him to come back...and praying for that day we will cry with the Spirit in total unity, "Come!" So yeah...my spirit is hungry for Him, and it's cool to let my body take part in feeling that yearning and hunger in a physical way. The only problem is that right now my body has gotten recalcitrant about fasting, and it talks back to my spirit. Bodies without grace for fasting are nasty. Here is a typical conversation between my spirit, body, and mind:

My spirit: "JESUS -- don't leave me here! I miss You so much. Please come back!! I love You! I am hungry for You! Hey, let's fast."
My body: "Heh? You want me to do what? Skip meals and keep sitting in this chair? You're funny!"
My mind: "Oh, look, I'm leaving the prayer room. That's odd...I meant to tough it out and sit here for another hour...but here's the car and, oh, okay, we're driving home -- ooh, foodage!"

So, yeah, if you're reading this, pray for me. Just a quick, five-second prayer -- "Jesus, give Ducky grace to keep fasting and praying" would be great. Those five-second prayers seriously add up. I'm not joking; please pray that. It would mean a lot. Even if you don't believe fasting is still valid or required for the church of this age (which it totally is -- Yeshua didn't say "if you fast" during the Sermon on the Mount; He said "when you fast"). Even if you don't personally know me. Just pray for me anyway, 'cause I need it. Thanks ever so much. Okay, I should go to bed.

STI

The Summer Teen Internship kids got here on Sunday, so the Missions Base is full of people. Fire in the Night just started again and the next Onething Internship is coming...yes, folks, it's time to gear up for a hot, crowded, sticky summer at the International House of Prayer! I shudder to think of what the bathrooms will look like. Tim already put bigger trash bins in the main restrooms, but I fear it's a lost cause.

Most of my friends here are prayer room leaders for STI...basically they lead small groups (kind of like core groups, which we have in OTI and [I think] FitN, and kind of like E-12s, which are End Times discussion groups). Right now, the only ones I know for sure are Princess, Loch, and Jasper. Mussels, Killer, HoB, Sardius, and a few others are coming later, when STI Track 2 starts. So I've been hanging with them...today Mussels and I helped Princess brainstorm for her group. She took Mussels' suggestion and decided her group should approach studying the End Times through the lens of Song of Solomon. I contributed Revelation 22:17 to make the perfect segue, and we were off! Good times. We went to the afternoon session for about an hour, where Wes Hall was speaking on the End Times. I bumped into Jasper, who wasn't sure what to do for her group, so they wound up combining groups. I sat in on it, but neither Jasper nor I needed to do much talking...Princess was on a roll, just going through Song of Solomon Chapter 1. At one point she asked us if we wanted to take over and explicate some of the verses, but we figured she was doing a pretty good job as it was. So that was fun. Later on I dropped by the evening session, where Misty was teaching. Good stuff.

I need to talk to one of the STI leaders with whom I am acquainted and make sure it's all right if I sit in on sessions and groups every so often. I don't think she'll care, and I'm probably not going to be involved much because I've got other stuff to do, but they'll have some good speakers. I always enjoy hearing Allen Hood or Dave Sliker teach.

Keyboard woes

So I was about to leave for the base, and I had my computer on the loveseat booting up. I went back to my room to get something and heard the two Shelties playing. The sounds I heard went like this: "Clatter clatter whoosh TAP TAP CLICK clatter clatter bark TAP CLICKETY CLICK clatter bark!"

I came back out to find that Taffy had been jumping from the loveseat to the couch to the floor and back. In the process, she'd managed to hit my keyboard not once, but twice. Three of my keys had popped off; two were lying on the loveseat and one had departed for parts unknown. After about twenty minutes of searching for the lost key, peering at my keyboard, and trying to pop the keys back in, I succeeded. Here is a record of the keys I worked on (I opened MS Word to record my accidental keystrokes while trying to get the keys back on their springs): ";;;…..s..o……;;nnnnnnn;oolooooooooooooooooooooo…
;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;..]l.;;;;;;;;;;;.nnnnn".

Two keys are still broken (on one, the little plastic spring cracked; the other one's brackets to clamp onto the spring broke). However, although it's now slightly more difficult to type the letter "n" and periods, I am managing. I might ask Tim, one of the cleaning bosses, to help me -- he is a computer whiz and might have a spare keyboard lying around.

Cat hair

The cat made me pet her for about ten minutes, and now I have white cat hair all over my shirt. She sheds like there's no tomorrow -- I'm amazed that she has any hair left. She's quite the princess, is Jasmine...she's beautiful and she knows it. Here is a picture of a similar cat (a blue colorpoint Persian).

Lollipop, one of the dogs, stood and watched. A little jealous, are we, Lolli? It's funny...the dogs beg for petting, but the cat commands it.

Fundraising

So I am seriously starting to get my act together when it comes to fundraising. I didn't do anything last week; I was focusing mostly on job-hunting. Support-raising should actually be considered part of my job/ministry if I get on staff, though, so I need to get started. I picked up my application for staff today from the Sacred Trust office and I will take a crack at the sample budget provided in the app.

I am also going to do a Bible study on support-raising. I still have problems with fundraising, even though I plan to do it when I go home. It's just weird asking people to give me money so I can pray all day. But I think these next few weeks and months are going to really challenge me with a question Kirk Bennett asked the House a few weeks ago: "Do you believe prayer matters?" I wrote in my journal the other day, "This next season is for proving to myself that prayer is real, that intercession is legitimate, that contemplation is fruitful -- that You are worth everything"...even if what I do here seems foolish. I have to say the L-rd chose an odd way to run His kingdom: sit in a room all day and talk to an invisible G-d; give up food so I can get more spiritual power; speak nonsense syllables and believe I'm speaking the mysteries of heaven...it's nuts. But it's what I want to do, at least for the next 6-12 months.

At this point I don't think I am called to be a vocational intercessor for a long period of time. I think I am probably going to return to working fulltime fairly soon. I need a transition period, though, and I need to learn that I can live the Sermon on the Mount lifestyle of prayer and fasting without the structure of the internship. I will have some accountability, since the Sacred Trust office will have my schedule and whatever prayer room team I join will know whether I show up to the PR or not. Essentially, however, I will be on my own. Just me, my prayers, and G-d.

So...back to support-raising. It is Biblical, believe it or not-- Yeshua had financial and prayer partners, like it says in Luke 8:1-3:

Now it came to pass, afterward, that He went through every city and village, preaching and bringing the glad tidings of the kingdom of God. And the twelve were with Him, and certain women who had been healed of evil spirits and infirmities; Mary called Magdalene, out of whom had come seven demons, and Joanna the wife of Chuza, Herod's steward, and Susanna, and many others who provided for Him from their substance. (Luke 8:1-3 -- emphasis mine)

Yeshua, a grown man who was perfectly able to make a living working with His hands, wasn't embarrassed to be supported by other people. I shouldn't either. I am actually going to be providing some of my own support from a part-time job, but that'll probably be about $400/month. Sacred Trust requires a $700 minimum income level for a single missionary (married is $1200; married with kids is $1600). So I will be asking people to support me when I go back home in July for a week.

My supporters are supposed to be my partners, too -- I will be praying for them. I will be praying in their stead in some regards...I know many believers would love to live as intercessory missionaries, but it's not feasible at this point in their lives. So instead they support field missionaries or intercessory missionaries. I'd welcome any support, whether it's both money and prayer, or just prayer. It's not all about the money. Some of the people I ask may not be able to give much money or even any money, depending on their financial situations or personal convictions. I would be just as happy if they support me in prayer, because if they pray for me...well, whaddya know, G-d will probably wind up blessing me and taking care of me, and that includes feeding me and providing money for rent.

So off I go. The staff meeting is scheduled to begin in about 15 minutes. Since I'm not on staff yet, I don't have to go, and I would rather sit outside. It's so beautiful out - about 70 degrees. Gorgeous.

At Service

This is so bizarre…I am sitting in the service with Loch, Mussels, and Princess, instead of 50-60 interns and staff. There’s no one to keep us from leaving; no one to say we have to pay attention. It’s the same odd feeling I get when I go to the prayer room on my own. I guess I’ll get used to it.

Afterward we are planning to go to Chili’s and get a few of the $2 bottomless chip baskets. We don’t have curfew. Well, one of us does.

I still can’t believe it’s over. Wake up, Ducky. The internship is done.

New stuffage

So, as you can now see, this is is the diary of an IHOPer, my name is now Ducky, and my new URL is http://themightyduck.blogspot.com/. Yay.

And life marches onward....

Blank CDs?

I pulled out my spindle of CD-Rs to burn a prophecy CD, and I noticed there are a bunch more threaded on the spindle than there used to be. The new CDs are a different brand...I am guessing someone sneaked into my apartment during the internship and put their extra CD-Rs on it. I have an idea who it was, but anyway...a big public thank-you to whoever did that.

Oh...I just called HoB, who's back in Ohio until Track 2 of STI. Had a nice chat with her. I miss that girl!

Jesus and Shakespeare

Yesterday I was sitting in the PR typing up that post and doing a little job-hunting when Mussels comes up to me and goes, "Do you want to do the prophecy rooms?" Apparently the prophecy teams were a little short that day. Ed Hackett knew Mussels was into the prophetic, so he asked him to help out and to grab some people to help. It wound up being Mussels, his roommate Scandin, me, and Ed (who had to leave halfway through for something). We prophesied over three different groups. We went out on a few limbs...Mussels got some weird pictures, but they turned out to be accurate; Scandin got odd pictures but got Scripture to back it up every time; I prophesied over a woman's kids into the tape recorder so she could take it to them back home. Lots of fun. The last group was three teens who are going to be in STI this summer (starting Monday). One of them didn't have the gift of tongues yet. It's the least of all the spiritual gifts, but most desirable, Paul tells us. So Scandin prayed for him to receive it and we're pretty sure he did.

So that was pretty sweet. Ed asked us if we were planning on getting on the prophetic teams if we did staff. I think I might now...might also see if I can help out Forerunner Publishing, maybe proofread some stuff for them.

Afterward, Mussels and I sat on the patio and hung for a while. Princess had told us the other day about a Shakespeare Festival by the Nelson-Atkins, so we were planning to go. She showed up around 6:00, and after a bit one of our internship's friends Cat and her roommate came by. We all drove to the play and got a good seat on the grass. Fearless Leader and Bean came over and said hi, but they were the only other IHOPers we saw. We had a good time regardless. The company performed Henry V. The play was pretty well done, I thought, but I don't know much about Shakespeare...never read or seen that play done before. All I know is Romeo and Juliet because I had to read it for school (who didn't?). I enjoyed it, but I think I would've gotten more out of it if I'd borrowed a copy of the play from the library and followed along. Clicky for pics.

Anyhoo, it finished around 10:30. We dropped off Cat's roommate, but we didn't want to go home yet...we drove around a bit, bought snacks at a gas station and drove around some more, singing along to CDs. We drove Blue River Rd. a few times, because it's pretty...looks like a road along Minnesota's North Shore, except minus Lake Superior. We got out near a proto-development by Blue River and Blue Ridge...there was a dirt road, some piles of dirt, and shiny new concrete curbs, and tdhat was it. The stars were easy to see out there. There was a ton of light pollution from the city, but it was still nice. We put on some reflective music, lay down on the curb, and stared at the stars for probably half an hour. I thought about eternity....beautiful.

Went back to the HOP and went our separate ways. What a fun night. Good times, good friends.

"The Self-Existence of G-d" and other quotes

So I am reading from A.W. Tozer's Knowledge of the Holy, which is a beautifully-written book on the attributes of G-d (the truth of G-d, basically). Here are some of my favorite quotes from Ch. 5, "The Self-Existence of G-d":

The human mind, being created has an understandable uneasiness about the Uncreated. We do not find it comfortable to allow for the presence of One who is wholly outside of the circle of our familiar knowledge. [...] Philosophy and science have not always been friendly toward the idea of G-d...they are dedicated to the task of accounting for things and are impatient with anything that refuses to give an account of itself. [...] Few of us have let our hearts gaze in wonder at the I AM, the self-existent Self...such thoughts are too painful for us.

A more positive assertion of selfhood could not be imagined than those words of G-d to Moses: I AM THAT I AM. Everything G-d is, everything that is G-d, is set forth in that unqualififed declaration of independent being. Yet in G-d, self is not sin but the quintessence of all possible goodness, holiness, and truth.

I had quite a good time contemplating after I read that chapter. I love this book...whenever I read it, I am reminded that I was made to be fascinated by the eternal. It reminds me of three verses I've been musing on lately. Quotage:

How precious is Your lovingkindness, O God! Therefore the children of men put their trust under the shadow of Your wings. They are abundantly satisfied with the fullness of Your house, And You give them drink from the river of Your pleasures. (Ps. 36:7-8)

"The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly."
(John 10:10)

You will show me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
(Ps. 16:11)

I miss my Xbox

I have wasted many hours of my life on that machine...hours I could've been talking to Jesus...but I still miss it. I had barely gotten started on Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II before I left for IHOP, and I haven't beaten Halo 2 on Heroic yet. I know, I know...I am a sucky gamer, and you do not want to play multiplayer with me. Ever. But I had fun all by myself.

Anyway, when Killer comes back maybe I'll teach her how to play Halo and we can suck like vacuum cleaners together on co-op play. Sweet. :-P The only thing is, Halo 3 comes out for the 360 and I sure don't have enough money to buy one of those babies. Dangit.

This was a completely frivolous post and gaming is a waste of time. It is completely not edifying. I still miss it!

New Blogspot URL and profile name

So since I am not an intern any more, I will be choosing a new URL. I'll republish my blog so that all the posts link to the right places...just be aware that I'll be changing my blog address. I'm thinking I'll try for ihopper.blogspot.com or maybe prophecy_bee.blogspot.com, probably within the next few days.

Also, I like my profile name a lot ("Dayenu" means "it would have been enough" in Hebrew -- it speaks of G-d's generosity), but people called me "the Mighty Duck" or "Ducky" all throughout my internship. I may do a wallpaper thingy for my blog with "Dayenu" on it...we shall see.

P.S. Posts are now archived monthly.

It's Wednesday

Um...yeah...so it's Wednesday. I don't have much else to say about today besides that. Nothing major planned except for job-hunting.

Not much going on right now...I took Loch to the airport Monday evening and Stiles on Tuesday evening. After I came back yesterday, I went to the PR again (I've been spending most of my time there). It was Luke Wood's 8:00 intercession set -- the one during which our internship basically owned the prayer room. Wes Martin was the prayer leader,Tracey Sliker was the associate PL, and our core groups or E-12s prayed on the mic. Some of our interns would sing with Luke's team. We all would sit in the first three rows of chairs or stand on the blue lines. (Here are some pictures of our last Tuesday set.) That set's usually not well attended, since everyone goes to the 10:00 and 4:00 intercession meetings required for all staff. Our internship carried the prayer room during that time, and without us, it's kind of sad.

Last night, I came in around 8:30 and saw all the empty chairs, strange people on the mic, no one standing on the lines...I almost cried. I sat there for maybe ten minutes and couldn't take it any more. I called Jacinth (one of the assistant core leaders for our internship -- I love that girl!) to see what she was doing. She and Fearless Leader, Hill, Ember, and another girl were watching a movie at Slikers' house. The Slikers left right after graduation, so their house was available for hanging out. I went through the PR and grabbed Princess, Mussels, and EJ (who left this morning for England), and we all drove over to Slikers'. They were just finishing Beauty and the Beast when we came in, and after some discussion we popped in Braveheart. We got back really late...that is a long movie. Very gory, too...I could tell just by the sounds, because I had my eyes closed during every battle scene. Some teachers here mention that movie when they're talking about the End Times. Certainly the persecution and torture part applies...I was a little freaked last night and this morning, because I know I am not strong enough to stand during the coming persecution. G-d had a talk with me about that. I keep getting hit by Isaiah 40:29-31. The truth is that G-d has chosen weak people like me to inherit His kingdom. He's given all authority and all gifts to those who have nothing on their own. Sometimes that still weirds me out, but it was pretty comforting to hear after seeing that movie.

Anyway. I am not sure what I'm going to do today. Job-hunt later...some PR time in the evening...maybe I'll call Jacinth and see what she's up to. Our first "date" was pretty fun: Starbucks and then a walk in Leawood Park. We haven't had our second date yet. That must be rectified. I hope she's not busy -- I'm feeling kind of lonely, since almost all my buds are gone on vacation or are back home.

Random question: when you make a PB&J sandwich, do you use one knife or two?

The first day of the rest of my life

I graduated yesterday. Got the certificate and everything. I don't feel like talking much right now...just finished journaling, and I'm not eager to rehash everything I just wrote, even though you all can't see it.

So...we have said our goodbyes and many are going their separate ways. A whole bunch of us are staying -- coming back in a few weeks for STI or OTI, or coming back for FSM's fall semester. I think I would be more emotional if more people were leaving for good, and I'd definitely be crying if I was going home. But I'm not. It's weird...settling in with my "adopted" family, coming to the prayer room on my own time and with no internship rules...it's going to take a while to get used to life after the internship.

I just want to get settled. Get a job, get financial support, get on staff and live my new life. I don't like transition periods.

Anyway. I am going to make a schedule for how I will spend my time until I get a job. This will include devotional time in the PR and at home, job-hunting, figuring out fundraising stuff, and a bit of time for relaxing and hanging out. I'll post it so y'all can know when not to call me. :-P

Oh, by the way, for any of my fellow Tree People who read this -- I am going to work on the directory this week. I will probably e-mail it by Friday.

I think I am going to change my Blogspot URL and the name of my blog, since I am not an intern any more. I will send out the new address in the directory, as well as the address for my photo site.

Think that's it for now. I'm hungry, but I will wait till this set's over...maybe KitKat is free for lunch. I'll go find out when her flight leaves.

Graduation Day

This is so surreal. I can't believe we are graduating today. Almost every intern I talk to says, "It hasn't hit me yet."

We all spent the morning packing up a few last things and checking out of our apartments. It was like move-in day, except that I knew everyone now and everything was happening in reverse.

Fearless Leader did my hair for graduation and then checked me out. I was the first one officially gone...took Loch over to her new digs to drop off her bags. Now I am in the prayer room, listening to Ron Downing doing a solo devo set. A bunch of interns are in here, too...CJ, HoB, Buffer, Monty, Dib, and a few others. We don't have anything else to do until lunch, which will be pizza (our last Sunday pizza lunch -- how sad). Pickle is going to load the pizzas into his truck and drive it over to the Herrnhut clubhouse. We are all going to sit on the deck and eat together. Then we meet in the Multipurpose room at 1:30. Graduation will be at 2:00. Afterward we will have some finger food and possibly some tears as we say goodbye.

A lot of us are coming back, but we will all be doing different things, whether it be the Night Watch, FSM, FMA, or leadership for OTI or STI. We will never again have what we shared for six months: a community of almost 50 men and women who were all going the same direction at the same time. We heard the same teachings, ate the same food, and moved as a unit. We became an army, even. Tracey Sliker got a word for us late in the internship: we are prophecy bees -- we move as one in the prophetic. Give us a target and we will come together and speak the L-rd's heart over someone. We prophesied over a bunch of the IHOP leadership during our 12-hour day, and of course we prophesied over each other any chance we got. The unity was pretty amazing, yet it was a completely natural development.

In some ways I would like to live that half-year again...I never have had fellowship like that before. I love the internship community and I will miss it tremendously. None of the other internships, not even Fire in the Night (except for Track Two, maybe), had what we had.

I'm trying not to view the internship through the proverbial rose-colored glasses. It was so hard...the awkwardness of that first month, when I didn't know if I would make any friends or if G-d would ever convince me that He actually did like me; the "trench months" of February and March, just slogging along through five briefings/debriefings per week and so many hours of teaching; the constant cycles of depression; seeing my friends hurting; struggling with loving people rightly...

...and then the weird floaty feeling of a month of tracks and fewer briefings; the unreal feeling during Fun Week -- and now here we are, ready to graduate. These six months were amazing and horrendous at the same time. But we ran well together, and we have all changed so much. None of us have remained unaffected by our time here. We are almost completely different people, and we love Jesus a whole lot more, even though we still don't know Him the way we want to know Him.

As Withit would say, this was the longest first date of my life. But I like the guy a lot...I think I'm going to marry Him.

P.S. Our official pictures.

The Wisdom of the Bohlender

Love this quote:

There is, within the present culture, a very real effort to...give people the ambiance of an encounter with God without actually having to encounter Him... to appeal for their desire for God, to assuage their inner cry for a walk with the Holy, without succumbing to the affect it would certainly have on their heart.

Go here for the full post: stuff i think: Decaf Jesus, no thank you.

And here is a note to the author, should he decide to check out my little blog:

Dear Mr. Bohlender, I am a Onething Intern, and I promise I am not sucking up.

Very sincerely yours,
Ducky

P.S. Onething Jan. '06, yeah! Tree People! Prophecy Bees! Woohoo!!!!!11!1!1!!!

Three days left

Well, it is the end of Exhaustion Week...Fun Week. I meant to say, Fun Week. Yes, indeedy, folks, we had barrels 'n' barrels -- yea, bucketloads -- of Fun during Fun Week! The Fun began on Monday with a barbeque at Corey Russell's house, during which a large portion of our internship was thrown in the pool. I stayed dry, thank you very much. And if that group of guys had tried to throw me in the pool...well, they probably would have succeeded, 'cause there were a lot of them, but I would've left them with some nice souvenirs. Black eyes and teeth marks, that's how I roll. Groin kicks, too.

Heh. Anyway. So about Tuesday: we spent 12 hours in the prayer room...10:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m. It went quickly...quite enjoyable, actually. I spent some time looking through the five or six journals I've filled up during the internship. Wish I'd read the Bible that day, actually...I had a good time with Him during the evening. Oh, and I prayed on the mic during the 8:00. Usually Tracey assigns groups to pray during that set -- at first it was core groups, then it was E-12s -- but last night was open mic. One guy who wasn't an intern snuck in; otherwise, it was all Onething on the mic. I prayed the Aaronic blessing out of Numbers 6:24-27 over the internship. I didn't want to...Ojos and Fearless Leader convinced me. "Come on...serve the prayer room one more time," Fel coaxed me. So I did. I kept my prayer short and only did one cycle, because a lot of us were lined up to pray. The interns liked it. "I've been blessed by a Jewish girl!" (Stiles)

On Wednesday we had the 10:00 intercession, then we did a scavenger hunt all afternoon and met at Chipotle on State Line for dinner. My group was Killer (who drove, because her car had AC and mine didn't), Sardonyx, Stiles, Grace, and me. Grace was amazing. She figured out the clues very quickly and knew where almost everything was (the Falkners have been here for like forever). I don't think we would've finished the scavenger hunt without her. Still...I think we would've had more fun if we'd ditched the hunt and just hung out on the Plaza or something. I think most of the other cars had a lot more fun than we did. That's probably just my perception, though. I went to Shiloh after we got back, just to settle myself. I walked and picked flowers. (Or weeds, I don't know which, but they sure smelled good. I gave them to Tracey...who has allergies, I later realized.) After my walk, I went to our last BURN class. It was pretty intense. Corey turned up the heat, I think...we haven't "burned" like that in a while. I mean, I love Misty, who taught us the last two weeks while Corey was out of town -- but there's a reason Corey Russell teaches BURN and not anyone else. The man is like a walking furnace.

Thursday we had our last core group time (go here for pics). Fel and Withit took us to the little garden near the Nelson-Atkins. Stiles brought her guitar and we worshiped together for a while. Then we sat in a circle and whispered sweet nothings to each other. Actually, they were substantially more than sweet nothings -- words of encouragement, discernment of our hearts, etc. Very edifying and encouraging. After that we came home and everyone got dressed up to go out to dinner. I wasn't sure what to wear, so Grace let me borrow a dress. We're about the same size. It's pretty cool to be able to fit in Grace Falkner's clothes. :-D So yeah, we went to Cinzetti's, an Italian market and buffet place. It was fun, I guess...good food, lots of talking, chaotic at times. We all went out to see Cars next. It was fun. Not as good as I expect from PIXAR and very predictable, but still a fun movie. Go here for some pics from the day.

Today is packing day. We have the 2:00 devo set in a few minutes, and tonight is The Last Shebang. I made a movie of one of CJ's infamous dance moves from Killer's birthday party a few months ago. It's pretty funny...I think I will post it on Photobucket at some point.

Saturday is deep clean, all day. At night we will have a party at Angel's...move out Sunday morning. I already moved a bunch of boxes to my friend's house this morning, so I'm almost all ready to move out.
Oh, Misty's out there on the keys now. Time to go and be with Jesus. Hey, one more thing. Yesterday I was feeling all awkward about dressing up, because I...well, I just don't. But He told me, "Walk in beauty," which sounds corny but was what I needed. Later, when we were going home after the movie, He told me I was pretty and that He had enjoyed me that evening. That meant a lot to me...*teary-eyed* I love this Man. Never seen Him, but I love Him. Okay...time to go spend time with Him in the secret place of prayer. Song of Solomon 2:14, baby!!

One week left

In exactly one week, I will graduate. Sunday, June 18th at 2:00. I cannot believe how quickly these six months have gone.

Our last week is Fun Week. We will have four hours in the prayer room in the morning, like usual, but no briefing or debriefing with our core groups. (It's sad...we had our last b/d with Withit on Tuesday before she left for a few days of vacation, and we had our last briefing with Fearless Leader on Wednesday.) After lunch, the whole internship will get to go out and do a ton of fun stuff together. We'll pack on Thursday. Friday night is The Last Shebang: the last time our internship will be together in an official capacity but not in a formal event. Saturday we will be deep-cleaning our apartments all day; at night Angel, one of the guys, is having a party at the house he just bought. And Sunday morning most of us will move out...graduation...another party at Angel's house, for those who want to. Many people will start driving home or take a flight back that evening. I am driving Loch to the airport on Monday and Stiles on Tuesday.

It is going to be so weird after the internship. A lot of people are staying around or planning on coming back...a bunch got hired as prayer room leaders for the Summer Teen Intensive, and a very few got hired as assistant core leaders for the next Onething Internship (Hotness and Garner are all I know for sure from the intern ranks; Withit is going to move from assistant to core leader). Some people will be part- or full-time staff in the House, like me (I hope). We are still going to see each other, but not all will choose the same prayer room hours, and we probably won't be on the same PR teams.

I am kind of sad...yet at the same time this feels right. We've been in the trenches for a long time, and we've been well-equipped for the next step -- our "70-year internship," which is what Mike calls the rest of our lives. I feel like this season in our lives is rightly coming to a close. I will really miss everyone, and I will definitely miss the unity and structure of the internship. But I am excited for what my future holds.

I'm sure I will be blubbering and much more sentimental/nostalgic/emotional/etc. as the end approaches. Right now I just want to seize every moment, because we have so few left of this six-month season. Actually, what I really want right now is a drink of water. I just cleaned IHOP for the last time (as an intern) and I am really thirsty. I am going to get a drink and maybe an orange before I leave for Falkners. (P.S. I love the Falkners! They have a lot of experience with prophecy -- but more than that, they know how to communicate and teach. Plus, they are just awesome people. Mr. Falkner is soft-spoken and has so much wisdom; Mrs. Falkner is a classy lady...the Prov. 31 woman, for real.)

Conference nuttiness

So yesterday I didn't do parking...hardly anyone was at the 2:00 and 3:30 breakout sessions. I got drafted to spot-clean bathrooms instead. I met this really cool girl who just did Intro to IHOP...I shoulda gotten her phone number; would've been cool to hang out more. Anyway, I really didn't have much to do...we only had to check the bathrooms a few times throughout the sessions. Goldie was supposed to be working with me. Since we didn't actually have any work to do, we sat in the student lounge and talked for an hour. She was having trouble writing her papers, so I asked her leading questions and listened. Goldie is so deep...I wish we'd talked more in the internship. She's in my core group, but not really in my social circle.

This morning I got to do parking, finally. I worked with HoB and Mark Gardener, the parking head honcho. We had so much fun...hardly anyone came; we barely filled the FSM parking lot. We really didn't have much to do at all (almost no one came to this conference, because there is not a lot of interest in the End Times in the church today). HoB and I were bummed that we were missing the morning session's worship; Luke Wood is one of our favorites, and we never get to go to his devo sets. Mark went inside and used his walkie-talkie to broadcast worship to us two out in the parking lot. It was pretty sweet. Aside from worshiping Jesus out in the hot summer morning, we had a grand old time goofing off, using weird arm motions to direct cars around the parking lot. I really got into it -- airline parking signals, jump spinning kicks into pointing at a spot, cheerleader "spirit fingers"....

Around 9:40, traffic was slowing to a trickle, and Mark decided to let us go after one more car. We decided that for the last car to enter the parking lot, I would do an Irish jig. I don't know how to jig, but I can fake one fairly well. HoB prophesied that the last car would be a red one. As a red car entered the parking lot, I got ready...and it turned into a parking space at the far end. I didn't get a chance to jig, so we decided to wait for one more car. HoB prophesied that the next car would be green. Indeed it was. I jigged merrily, pointed enthusiastically, and ended it with an air guitar strum and a final point. The lady was laughing her head off, as were my parking buddies. I'd have to say that was the most fun I've ever had doing parking. The last time I did it was in the winter. I nearly got frostbite.

Mmmm...what else did I do today? Oh, Dib and I hung out in the cafeteria and traded files. He wanted the recordings I'd made of our tracks and I wanted his pictures. We used Buffer's iPod to transfer files. I want an iPod even more now. My tech upgrade list keeps growing, but first I need to get a job -- and then bills come first. Dangit!

I can't believe we have only eight days left. Tomorrow morning we have off. I want to hang with people, I think, but not everyone's heere. Wes Martin and about 20 OTI interns and staff are in Illinois on a ministry trip. They wanted to take the entire internship, but IHOP leadership nixed the idea (which was a bummer -- we so would've had an awesome time ministering to people). The other night I took Gem, Pixie, Sunny, Hotness, and my friend Wombat1 to the Plaza. We had fun walking around and hanging out. I need to start taking the initiative on these things instead of always waiting to be invited. I feel like if I'd done that more throughout the internship, I would've made more friends and more memories. On the other hand, as much as I long for being in the cool hang-out social circle, I am not built that way...I am more of a one-on-one person. And I definitely needed time for talking to Jesus. He comes before my social life. Not that He doesn't want me to have one...it's just not good to make friends and hanging out an idol.

I am rambling. As usual. I so pride myself on my organized thoughts and writing ability...but, folks, at the end of the day I'm as random as the next person. Random people unite! Heh.

Ok, so blogger isn't working right now. I am sending this from my phone; maybe it'll work. Go to my Xanga and read my post to find out what I am up to....

-------------------------------------------------------
This message was sent from a T-Mobile wireless phone.

The calm before the storm

Well, not really...it's just that today is my last day off, and then I have to work the conference. I'm cleaning IHOP from 10:00-2:00 tomorrow, then doing parking from 2:30-6:00, then attending the evening service. I'll be working Saturday and Sunday, too. I must take a moment to give props to my friend Hotness, who swapped her parking shift tomorrow with my Children's Equipping Center shift. I don't like kids at all and she does, so that works out great. Oh, by the way, Hotness is going to be the bestest associate core leader ever. She is awesome.

Ehh...what is going on in the life of Dayenu? Oh, the housing situation got resolved. My friends and I decided it was too hard to find housing for all four of us, especially since most apartments wouldn't accept support as a source of income. We looked at a house, but decided not to rent rooms. So I am going to live with my adopted family for a while. It's too bad...Loch, Killer, Stiles, and I were all looking forward to living together. We would've been a good apartment. Maybe sometime in the future, eh?

I am not sure what I am going to do the rest of the day. I do have to do laundry at some point, but I don't have to go to the evening session of the conference. I might go with Hotness, Pixie, and maybe some other people to the Boiler Room, which is another 24/7 prayer thingy here in KC. Pixie is supposed to cut my hair today, but she has to write her paper. Hope it gets done...my hair is so shaggy it's not funny.

Hunting

I am job-hunting and house/apartment-hunting right now, and it's slightly frustrating. I've applied to several jobs online so far, but all that's accomplished is a bunch of scam spam to my business e-mail. No, I do not want to work from home and make $80,000/year. Well, I mean, that would be fun, but I have bigger goals in life than doing telemarketing.

As for looking for housing, I am planning to live with Wombat1's family for a month or so. I have talked with Loch, Killer, and Stiles, and we think it would be fun to get an apartment together. I love living with lots of people. I told Wombat1 that I'd feel isolated if it was just us getting an apartment (which is what we talked about before I came to the internship), and she totally understands. She is thinking about buying a house anyway. So my potential roommates (well, Loch *is* my roommate right now) and I have looked into a few things. We went to the apartments right across the street from Herrnhut today, but we don't think it'll work out, what with the waiting lists and the applicaton fee. We were thinking about just getting a Herrnhut two-bedroom apt., even though Herrnhut is kind of ghetto, but Loch called them and found out they don't have anything right now. We are looking into a couple of rooms nearby, but so far nothing seems to be working. So we are just asking for G-d's guidance and stuff. His leadership and timing are perfect...we have to learn patience and trust, is all.

So anyway. You recall I mentioned the prophetic unity the internship is moving in? We've been pretty confident in prophesying over each other throughout the whole internship, but lately our confidence has increased. A few days ago about ten interns grabbed Dwayne Roberts, who is one of the head honchos here, and prophesied over him. It really moved him. Another example is last Wednesday in our prophetic track with Ben Atkinson. All twenty or thirty of us stood around him and prophesied for about 30-40 minutes straight. He was weeping and really was touched. He later said, "That was the most intimate prophecy experience I've ever had." Pretty sweet, eh? It gets better.

So on Monday we had our last contemplative prayer track with Tracey Sliker, our internship's director. She asked us to do what I call blind prophecy -- which is asking the L-rd for a word for someone without knowing who they are. (We did that during the prophetic track at Falkners' house this Sunday -- prophesied over people we'd never met before). Sometimes the person isn't even there, as was the case with Tracey's friend. She told us his name. That was it. So we prayed and sat in silence for about half an hour, waiting on the Holy Spirit and scribbling down words of encouragement/comfort/edification as they were given to us. By the end Sliker had a whole sheaf of papers. She was really happy and said her friend would be very encouraged. Then she dropped the bomb on us: we had just prophesied over Jeremy Affeldt, who is a pitcher for the Kansas City Royals. (Go here for information.) He loves IHOP and comes to the PR whenever his schedule lets him. He even preaches to the interns sometimes. He got us free tickets to see the game tonight (that was already arranged before Sliker asked us to prophesy over him, so the tickets were a nice surprise -- prophesying with the intent of gaining a reward is not cool).

So yeah, we're all going to the game tonight...even though it's the Global Bridegroom Fast and we'll have to miss the 4:00 intercession meeting. Dave Sliker, who is apparently in charge of GBF, was randomly at GRID class on Monday to watch his wife do our announcements. He told us to go and have fun -- even break our fast and eat, if we want to celebrate. Uh, thanks, Sliker.

Right. The game. I think it's against the Rangers. Affeldt has been having a bad season...it's his birthday today and he'll probably be in the bullpen...we might not get to see him play. But we'll get to meet him before the game. I hear he got us good seats. Sweet. I am sad to miss our six-hour evening in the PR, especially the 8:00 meeting where our interns pray on the mike. Still, the game will be fun...mostly because we're all going to sit together. The game itself will probably be boring...the Royals kind of stink, so I am going to guess the Rangers will thrash 'em. Ooh, look at the win/loss records: Texas 30-26, Kansas City 14-41 (!!). My goodness. I guess we will intercede the whole game for KC to win. Or at least for Affeldt to get to pitch...it would stink to be in the bullpen all game on your birthday.

Tar

I love the smell of tar, whether it's coming from a fresh driveway or a telephone pole. There's a crew resurfacing the parking lot at IHOP. It's probably not healthy to breathe this stuff in for long, so I'll move on after a few minutes.

Randomness: Dan Dodd, the guy who's in charge of ushering or some such during services, just came up to me and asked me to be head usher at the Friday night EGS service. I helped out last weekend and appeared to know what I was doing (I stress the word "appeared"), so now I'm on his short list. And of course I said yes. I mean, I had no reason to say no, but I didn't really want to usher...on the other hand, I guess I get treasure in heaven. I also get a voucher for a free CD of the service, since some of the ushers miss half the sermon when they are in the back office counting the offering.

Did I also mention I got made leader of my cleaning team? I didn't really want that position, because now I sort of have to boss my friends around. I mean, it's not that awkward, but it's a little weird. And I certainly don't want the headache of head ushering. I don't like leadership...I don't feel like I'm cut out for it. For sure I am not applying to core lead for the next internship or even for the Summer Teen Intensive. But I keep getting shoved into leadership, even though all I see it as is more work. Meh.

So anyway...head usher this Friday. I intend this to be the last time during the internship; I'd rather sit with my friends. Next time I'll tell him no. I might help out with ushering if I get on staff -- I'll need to fill my required hours of service with something, and I definitely don't want to clean toilets for the whole 12 hours or whatever.